You’re Measuring Yourself Against The wrong Person

I keep getting some version of this message in my DMs:

“Reni, I’m doing okay. I’m paying my bills, and I’m earning more than I used to. But I still feel so behind. Like everyone around me is hitting milestones I haven’t even started on yet. What am I doing wrong?”

Nothing, honestly. You’re not doing anything wrong.

But I get why it feels that way.

That feeling doesn’t need a reason to show up. It shows up when you’re avoiding your bank app because you already know what you’ll see. When you tell yourself you’ll reset next month, and then next month comes and goes. When you’re doing better than you were a year ago and it still doesn’t feel like enough.

If any of that sounds familiar, keep reading.

Here’s the thing about the “behind” feeling

Most of the time, you’re not comparing yourself to people in similar situations. You’re comparing your behind-the-scenes to everybody else’s highlight reel. 

You see the house. You don’t see that their parents handed over $80K for the down payment.

You see the vacation photos. You don’t see the credit card bill that followed.

You see the investment portfolio they’re bragging about. You don’t see that they started five years before you, or that they make twice your salary, or that they’re only investing because their rent is covered by someone else.

None of that is your story. So why are you measuring yourself against it?

The only comparison that actually means anything is you vs. you a year ago.

Measure your progress against yourself

I want you to actually pause and think about this for a second.

Where were you financially this time last year? Were you saving at all? Investing? How much debt were you carrying? What did your relationship with money look like? 

I’m willing to bet something has shifted, even slightly.

Progress doesn’t always feel like a milestone. Sometimes it’s just “I have $500 saved, and last year I had zero.” Sometimes it’s “I finally know what an ETF is.” Sometimes it’s just “I stopped pretending my finances didn’t exist.”

That counts. All of it counts.

But what if you actually are behind?

Okay, let’s be real. Sometimes the feeling is telling you something true.

Maybe you’ve been earning for years with nothing to show for it. Maybe you’re still living paycheck to paycheck, and you don’t know how to break the cycle. Maybe debt has been following you for years, and you’ve just been pretending it’ll sort itself out.

If that’s you, the worst thing you can do is keep beating yourself up about it. Guilt doesn’t pay off debt, and shame doesn’t build a savings account. These feelings just keep you stuck in the same place.

So here’s what I’d tell you if you were in my DMs right now:

Step 1: Look at your actual numbers.

Income, expenses, debt, savings – write it all down. No more avoiding it. You can’t fix what you won’t face. 

Step 2: Pick ONE thing.

Not five things. Not a full financial overhaul. One thing – whether that’s paying down a specific debt, opening a TFSA, or automating even $25 into savings every payday. Just one.

Step 3: Make it automatic.

This is non-negotiable for me. Willpower runs out. Automation doesn’t. Set it up once and let it work.

Then, once that feels stable, move to the next thing. 

This method allows you to work towards all your goals, but also gives you a starting point so you don’t feel overwhelmed. You just need a starting point. 

You don’t have to figure this out alone

I keep saying this because I mean it. 

I didn’t build my financial habits in isolation. My dad was my first accountability partner. He made me screenshot my investments every two weeks and send them to him. That structure is part of why I stayed consistent.

That’s the whole reason I built the Don’t Go Broke Collective accountability group. Because videos and the content can only take you so far. At some point, you need real people around you, checking in, celebrating the wins, and keeping you accountable when motivation runs out.

Last year, our members collectively saved and paid off over $1.2 million. Right now, we’re in the middle of money systems month, helping members set up automations so that saving, investing, and debt repayment just… happen. No willpower required.

If you’re feeling behind and you’re tired of trying to sort it out on your own, come join us.

CTA: Join the Don’t Go Broke Collective

For my Nigerian community: You’ll need a VPN to access Skool. Make sure you have one set up before you join so you can get straight in.

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Until next time,

xoReni

P.S. I actually want to know… where were you financially a year ago compared to right now? Hit reply and tell me. I read every single one, and honestly, even the “small” updates are my favourite to receive.